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My intent in writing this article is to share my thoughts, feelings, and questions about G-d. I seem to be following some very knowledgeable viners, both pro and con for G-d, who respect and are willing to read and comment on the views of others, sometimes opposite of their own, without slamming them. This article is based on my personal thoughts and experiences only and new thoughts that developed as a result of reading other articles on Newsvine about G-d and religion.
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Why do I believe in G-d? To put it bluntly, I was taught to believe without question from the time I was born:
----------------As a child - in the Baptist faith
----------------As a teen - in the Lutheran and Methodist faith
----------------As an adult - in the Catholic and Lutheran faith.
G-d was an unquestionable presence in my life until I started asking questions. I think I have continued to live in a child-like faith up until the time I wondered why G-d deserted me through no fault of my own that I could see.
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What I was taught:
------------------That J-sus was a virgin birth
------------------That G-d is a Triune G-d meaning G-d the F-ther, G-d the S-n, and G-d the H-ly Sp-rit (three pieces of one pie)
------------------To follow the Ten Commandments
------------------That J-sus died on the cross to forgive us for our sins and rose again to give us salvation
------------------That J-sus was our guardian angel and to lean on H-m when times get tough
------------------That even thoughts without physical actions go against the Ten Commandments and are considered sins (I believe this is what was meant by "criminal thought" in another article I read)
------------------That the Bible is G-d's Word and we are not to question it
------------------To live by the Parables
------------------The Bible (some of the religions I have been involved with say the events actually happened and others said they are just stories to learn from)
------------------To live by the Beatitudes (Matthew 5: 3-12) from the "Sermon on the Mount"
------------------To pray quietly and reverently to the L-rd
------------------A host of other things......
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My Thoughts:
1.) Why would G-d give us commandments to follow that we could never follow even if we tried because of the way he made our physical bodies? One example:
"Thou shalt not commit adultery" (I am not talking about the 10th Commandment - Thou shalt not covet…)
How are we supposed to follow this commandment if even thoughts break the commandment. As I see it, from what I was taught, just the simple fact of accidently looking and mentally appreciating for a moment the way someone other than your spouse looks is breaking this commandment. What initially attracts a person to another if you have never met before? Usually sex appeal, a physical attraction. Well, what if you do not have a spouse? Are you not suppose to look or appreciate because you will be breaking this commandment? Our bodies were made to have this sexual attraction to each other, so how can this possibly be breaking a commandment? If you are married, you may curb your actions, but do you stop appreciating the sex you are attracted to just because you are married? I do not think so and I don't see how we have a way to stop it.
To be accused of breaking this commandment because I look one way or the other where someone who is physically attractive happens to be standing, I feel, is wrong. I am not sure the interpretations I learned of this commandment are what G-d meant. I am not talking about the purposefully looking for someone attractive or having sexually explicit magazines mailed and-or visibly laying around the house or car if you are married (unless agreed), but the accidental look while walking down the street, while shopping, or in the library, or on the beach where you can never get away from it, etc. I mean, if I were to take the learned meaning of this commandment to heart, it would be a sin just to walk on the beach or even look at a fashion magazine or, for that matter, play a video game.
AND...are the meanings of this commandment different for a person who is married verses a person who is single? It must be acceptable in the Christian faith for a single person. In my opinion, it isn't the norm for a person to fall in love first, it usually is the sexual attraction that draws people to each other to become a couple in the first place.
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2.) If J-sus is my Guardian Angel, why would he allow my life to be put in danger? To teach me a lesson to learn from? Why in the world would G-d want to teach me a lesson to the extent of almost destroying my life? All it did was to create a state of fear which I never had to deal with before and, fortunately, have mostly been able to overcome. To tell me that 'everything happens for a reason' or 'it is in G-d's plan' will never convince me that this was the reason why my 'Guardian Angel' deserted me.
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3.) PRAYER.
I do not always pray quietly to the L-rd. Sometimes, my prayer is outrage, anger, and frustration; sometimes it is soulful; sometimes it is reverent; sometimes it is happy; sometimes it is thankful; sometimes it is by rote. I believe any way we pray to the L-rd, if it is sincere and meant from the heart, G-d will hear it. When it comes to G-d answering prayers, though, it feels at times as if my 'enemies' prayers or lack of are more important than my prayers. I heard a sermon once that said that there is nothing I can do to about my sin. My thought was - then why try to do what is right in the eyes of GOD? Why bother to attempt to live by his Commandments? Does this mean I am not sincere in my prayers or am asking the wrong way? I do not think so. Who is to say someone's way of praying or not praying is better than another's. I am not talking about prayers asking for a Kindle or materialistic things, I am talking about prayers for understanding, other people, guidance, etc.
One of the things that has me baffled is when I have been told that G-d will talk to you if you let him. I have been told to lay in bed, relax, clear your mind and let G-d come to you. I truly was open and wanted to experience this as my life was in a total quandary. It has never happened, not once, not unexpectantly, not even when I totally believed everything I was taught and was open to any and all trials and tribulations G-d wanted me to experience; NOT EVER. I am not talking about bells and whistles, I am talking about some clarity that comes with thought.
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4.) The BIBLE.
I believe the events in the Bible did happen and are not just stories.
I believe the only books of the Bible I really need to pay attention to are the Gospels. These Gospels are the story of J-sus's life and where J-sus's actual words are and, I believe, are the main points we should focus on as Christians.
------------------I believe much of the things discussed in the rest of the Bible were based on the times, events, beliefs, and standards of the day and are not to be taken literally in this day and age. I can use the rest of the Bible to assist in questions I may have about the Gospels, but NEVER should I take a verse out of context of the story it was written in. Nothing drives me more insane than this about evangelism. To read or be told a verse by itself and then read it with the Biblical chapter(s) it was written in, sometimes takes on a totally different tone and meaning to it.
------------------I believe in G-d's story of creation and in evolution.
------------------The Ten Commandments - I believe it's hopeless. Since everything I do is supposedly a sin, anyway, it is impossible to abide by them. I do not mean that I should go out and murder, or steal, or have sex with any Tom, Dick, or Harry, I mean I am not worrying about them since, as per Christianity, I have no way to prevent my breaking them. I know that I am honest, caring, loving, heartfelt, and monogamist. I am not a murderer. I am known to come out with a row of swear words when I am angry, though.
------------------I believe the role descriptions of men and women in the Bible were based on the times and cannot possibly be used in defense by religion of the male dominance over the female with the reversal of responsibilities in today's world, at least, in the United States. Again, I believe, Paul's descriptions of male-female roles were based on what the standard of his day was. I think some of the male dominance roles came about naturally and are still present today because of what seems to be the genetic physical strength and greater ability of the male to disassociate the heart from actions. (This role description section may be considered sexist. I don't know of any other way to say it and, of course, it is only my opinion.)
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5.) Evangelism
------------------I am not comfortable in what I perceive the Christian definition of evangelism - to go out and tell the world about G-d. For me to go out and stand on a corner and tell the world that you are going to Hell if you do not believe in G-d, is absurd. For me to walk up to my neighbor and give him-her a handout about J-sus is just as uncomfortable. If I happen to get into a conversation with someone about G-d, I may then tell them my views and possibly give them some printed literature, but to ramrod them with my religion, no, it is not for me. If I see someone who might benefit by G-d, I may give them information of a church to go to. My methods are more passive than aggressive.
------------------I do not believe in forced evangelism
------------------The best I can do is to be a loving and caring person. I am sure there are Christians out there who will tell me I am wrong. I accept that they think that, but it does not change what I feel am capable of doing. I refuse to accept guilt for not doing something they think I should be doing.
------------------I accept that there are people who do not believe in G-d or J-sus and even with that being said, I will always listen to what they have to say, also.
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I have finally come to the conclusion that since the Christian doctrine has been ingrained in me from Day 1 of my life, there is no way for me to un-believe that there is a G-d. I may doubt and I may have questions, but to totally extinguish the presence of G-d out of my system is just impossible no matter how much proof is given to me otherwise. My first reaction when something good or bad happens is to pray. I feel hypocritical, at times, because what I believe and what I do tends to be different than what seems to be, in my opinion, the expected norm for Christians. I feel, though, I am being honest about it and not attempting to hide my beliefs. In other words, I have become an agnostic. I have a personal relationship with the L-rd and only He knows if I am worthy or not - A woman's thoughts.
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This article "G-d Thoughts - A Woman's Perspective" was completely authored by©PonGoad 2012. All Rights Reserved.
